Columbus Crew and FC Cincinnati have unveiled absolutely world class stadiums–I’ve seen the storied grounds in London, Munich, Rome, Barcelona and Madrid–and these modern American fortresses compare and surpass in everything except history and capacity.
After seeing them both, here are 10 metrics used to determine the absolute best home pitch in MLS and the Buckeye state.
FC Cincy’s Major League Soccer birthday was March 2019, giving Ohio its first in-state derby, known as “Hell is Real.”
Crew fans sighed, as they already had beyond contempt for United in the ’90s, the Fire in the 2000s and perpetual “pain-in-the-a**” Toronto, and thus there wasn’t a lot of hate left to go around.
After FC, a USL team at the time, upset the Crew in the 2017 Open Cup, a little more room in the Crew hate cave was carved out, and a rivalry was born.
BUT, we’re not here to compare clubs (there’s no comparison; that’s just a matter of fact concerning history and existence). We’re here to look at home base.
Metric 1: Beer / Alcohol
Crew stadium has the largest beer garden in MLS; it’s pretty one-sided.
However, this whole scan the QR code from the walking beer vendor–doooodude, let me give you cash for beer. It’s an older established transaction than prostitution.
2: Location
Twenty years ago, I worked in Over the Rhine and the West End area of Cincy. It was where the race riots of 2001 happened, the place Hollywood used as their standard “ghetto,”– a place full of endless unrest.
The area is now the quiet kid from middle school that no one ever thought would help them climb the social ladder, so they neglected and ignored them. Now, that kid is famous and the reason their 401k fluctuates.
There’s just too much glorious history in the area of the West End, the walk to the stadium is a mural-based wonder journey, despite the gentrification and horrors along the way. The Arena District doesn’t have the timeline to compete.
3: Supporters Section
Crew has the third largest SS in MLS, so again, not much of a debate. The difference is, the FC stadium is a continuous lower bowl, so the sound really gets trapped. FC scored on the Crew 20 some seconds into the game, and it was absolutely deafening in there. One of the loudest soccer moments I’ve ever witnessed.
Listen to thoughts on the new stadium straight from FC fan Matthew Ivory (I was slow to find my audio app and someone called me grandpa right before the interview, as you can hear):
4. Restrooms
Why the hell would you ever have to use a handle and open a door to get into a stadium restroom? Minus one FC Cincy. Why would you not have beer holders above the urinal? -1 FC. Why would you have paper towels instead of air dyers? -1 FC. Why would your bathrooms be flooded? -1 FC Cincy.
5. Stadium Design / Architecture
Those circular LED pulsating lights outside of FC’s stadiums were psilocybin-influenced bands of glory. A popular tweet (shared to me in a poking way by our publications’s engagement editor Shock lol) described the Crew’s stadium as a “fallen over tv.” While I don’t share those sentiments, and maybe it’s just my biased based on love for the Alliance Arena, but have to give FC the nod here as the endless oval outside makes the eyes sag in disbelief.
6. Safety
The “Suicide Walkway” at FC is absolute madness. Can you imagine a Champions League semi where you are walking against the current of a bunch of goat-head wasted Chivas fans? They might shoulder-check you right into the concrete abyss below. Plus, there are narrow hallways leading to that catwalk that didn’t seem crowd-crush compliant.
Metal detectors at Crew Stadium are from the future–many can walk through at once and they are looking for photon blasters. At FC, the red light went off on most people and the wand workers kept just waving them through.
7. Capacity
That extra 5k that FC has, giving them 26,000, made a loud difference–it’s just science, especially with no holes in the corners of the stadium. What sucks is that in order to keep the lower bowl wrapped, the FC spectators are a litter further back to accommodate for the angle. Still would rather have they extra humans in the stands.
8. Overall Atmosphere
When the LEDs died down and the two-goal lead subsided, there wasn’t much happening at FC’s stadium. It’s not a dig or a cheap shot–they just haven’t been around that much, so fans don’t know all the chants and they are more there for the event than the ball movement, which affects the applause timing and frequency.
Witnessing an entire venue scream-singing “Wise Men Say” at the walk out and conclusion of the match, and you’ll get a better understanding of what it takes to build a stadium culture over two decades.
9. Luxury Seating
This may just be the “Great Expectations” Pip in me, but there was way too much elite seating at the Crew’s stadium. The whole home side is a glass tower with not enough rocks to go around. Front row loge seats ruin the out-of-bounds atmosphere as they are less interested in the match and and more in social postings.
10. Food
FC Cincy has Skyline Chili.
CONCLUSION
The Columbus Crew are always going to have the best program, history, fans and trophy case for the foreseeable future. FC Cincy has won the stadium cup, however. The culture and perseverance you are forced to be immersed in, that surrounds FC Cincy’s stadium, it can’t be constructed, so FC gets the edge, as it’s a historical epic journey to the center of an earth where we care oh so passionately about around humans kicking around a ball.
Note: Yes, I realize these stadiums have naming rights. FC Cincinnati plays at TQL Stadium and the Columbus Crew plays at Lower.com Field.
