ASHLAND — With technology and the internet, it’s easier to prevent children from making mistakes and running into problems than to fix them, according to Jesse Weinberger, an author and internet safety speaker.
“Don’t let kids have too much leeway in this arena, because it has big consequences,” Weinberger told a crowd of about 50 people in Ashland High’s Little Theatre on Wednesday night.
Weinberger, who hosts an internet safety podcast called “Big Mama’s House,” travels the country speaking to schools and parents about keeping children safe online. The Samaritan Foundation funded her visit to Ashland City Schools this winter.
Over the last two weeks, she offered age-adjusted presentations to Ashland City Schools’ fourth through 12th grade students.
On Wednesday night, Weinberger gave a three-hour presentation to parents and community members about the dangers the internet and social media can pose to children. She stayed for about an hour afterward answering more audience questions.
Steve Paramore, Ashland City Schools’ superintendent, kicked off the presentation by telling the audience it’s important for parents to recognize personal responsibility in the online choices their children make.
In addition to outlining the perils that can lie waiting for children, Weinberger offered advice about how to have conversations with youngsters and set guidelines for safer social media use.
Parents aren’t immune
According to Weinberger, technology is not all good or all bad. But devices do pose real threats.
She highlighted how higher device time corresponds with higher anxiety and depression for all users. That trend is well-documented, with multiple studies linking increased screen time with loneliness, depression, anxiety and less emotional connection with others.
It’s not just the higher time spent on one’s device that’s causing struggles. Weinberger said people tend to overshare on social media, and that goes for parents and students alike.
“Everything can be found out based on what you post,” Weinberger said. “This is a huge security risk.”
For example, she said if parents have their Facebook set to public, or even if they have their children in Facebook cover photos, it becomes easier for predators to find children online.
What dangers can the internet present for children?
Weinberger also outlined how easy it can be for predators to take advantage of children who have social media accounts, or for children to find inappropriate content online.
On social media apps from Facebook to Snapchat, Weinberger said predators will pose as somebody else and talk to children for lengthy periods of time. She shared that red flags can include asking to move a conversation from one application to another.
The bottom line: It can be easy for those conversations to become dangerous.
Children can start sexting, which can include sending sexual text messages, photos or videos. That action is illegal for minors, and easy to punish. Content minors send over social media apps only need to have sexual intent to be criminal.
From there, she said, consequences can easily snowball.
Those consequences range from “sextortion” — a form of blackmail where someone threatens the child unless the child gives into their demands — to human sex trafficking, Weinberger said.
It’s not just anonymous internet predators parents need to watch out for. Weinberger said parents should remain skeptical of adults in their children’s lives, period.
She added parents shouldn’t allow children to have friendships with adults outside their supervision, nor should such adults communicate one-on-one with children.
While Weinberger said social media is more dangerous than gaming, there are games to be careful about, too.
She said Grand Theft Auto depicts violence; highlighted how dangerous Roblox has become; and noted even on Youtube, violent and sexual content can land on children’s pages thanks to predators using cartoon characters to depict those actions.
Suggestions for keeping your students safe
Even though the Internet can pose very real dangers to children, Weinberger said parents can still take actions to help kids stay safe and make good decisions. It all comes back to one motto: “Monitor, Supervise and Consequence.”
The onus for monitoring children’s safety online is with their parents. Weinberger said establishing guardrails and expectations for that use is key.
She offered a slew of suggestions for setting those guardrails. Some included:
- Limiting the number of hours children spend on their phones
- Limiting the number of applications children can download
- Removing Facebook and Instagram, in specific, from phones — and that went for parents, too
- Stopping notifications for all but critical applications
- Using phones’ do not disturb settings and being selective about whose calls and messages can get through during that time frame
- Creating no-tech zones in homes
Weinberger said strictness and enforcement of a family’s rules depends on their individual needs. Ultimately though, she said more often than not, children appreciate having clear guidelines and being told “no.”
She also suggested creating “circles of trust” for children, using Life360 — an app that allows families to track each other with GPS — and, most importantly, taking time to talk to children.
Weinberger suggested having conversations about internet safety often, and remaining calm so children feel they can come to their parents with problems.
Ashland reacts
Weinberger’s talk hit a note for some audience members.
Josh Hutchison, who attends Ohio State University-Mansfield and works at Advocates for Families, said he deleted Instagram, TikTok and BeReal from his phone while listening to her presentation.
Bob and Vicki Becker, two more attendees, said they have 11 grandchildren. They came with their daughter to listen to the presentation.
Vicki said she felt “naive” afterwards. She got her first smartphone only two years ago, and said she’s glad her grandchildren have strong guardrails already around their use of technology.
“It was excellent,” Vicki said. “It opened my eyes to know more about social media.”
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