Ashland’s Suicide Prevention and Awareness Walk draws largest registration yet

ASHLAND — The topic of suicide is a personal one for Randy Spade.

Spade, Ashland University’s executive director of admissions and the mayor of Jeromesville, served as the keynote speaker ahead of this year’s Suicide Prevention and Awareness Walk.

The event, hosted by the Ashland County Mental Health and Recovery Board, is in its eighth year.

David Ross, the board’s director, said the walk attracted its largest number of registrants ever this year, with 223 signing up to participate. Rain put a damper on the number of attendees, but Ross said the number shows people are becoming more aware of the event.

During Spade’s keynote speech, he shared his own story with suicide. He said he lost a parental figure to suicide in 2011. A few years later, in 2018, Spade said his younger brother also took his life.

Spade’s speech

The first time Spade felt the impact of suicide first-hand, he said he was 22 years old. Still a college student, he said he didn’t know how to handle it. He told the crowd he fell into a really dark place.

But Spade battled through, attending grief support groups. He spoke about those experiences, and the importance of letting himself feel his emotions throughout the grieving process.

“It was a group of people that sat around and we would cry and we would be mad and then we would laugh and we would go through all that together,” Spade said. “And in that common experience, I found that other piece of me that needed healed by being around people that didn’t want to help me.

“… They wanted me to be able to talk about this person that I loved and that was so special to me in a way that just was. I was allowed to be. There were no expectations for me. I didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t have to be anybody. I had to be myself, and I could work through the emotions that this very, very unique loss creates in a person.”

When his little brother passed away, Spade said he still felt his grief strongly, but was in a different stage of life. He had his own family to take care of and be strong for.

“It hurt very deeply, but this time, it was like my body took over and went into this mode it needed to go into,” Spade said.

He said that experience made him wonder how people who hadn’t gone through suicide dealt with it. He made it part of his mission in his work and life to make sure no other families have to go through the tragedy his did.

Spade encouraged the crowd to reach out if they were struggling. He said he’d rather talk to anybody for hours than have them feel that suicide was their only option.

Walking for awareness

After Spade’s comment, the crowd donned ponchos and umbrellas and walked a route down Claremont Avenue.

They joined a Silent Watch happening outside the county building. Silent Watch, a nonprofit, operates with a goal of raising awareness of veteran suicide.

Participants stand by an empty casket with the American flag draped over it. Those who were part of the walk helped stand during one shift.

Then, the procession traveled down Main Street, turned right on Center Street and headed back for Ashland University.

After the walk finished, participants got soup at AU’s Convocation Center. They also had an opportunity to share their own stories with suicide.

Several people stepped up and shared their stories — either of loved ones who’d taken their lives, or of their own experiences with dark thoughts.

But the theme that continued to emerge was one of holding onto hope. Everyone who spoke said it’s important to know that if you’re struggling, you’re not alone.

“Being here together, I find peace in that I’m not alone,” Spade said. “Losing someone to suicide can feel like the loneliest place in the world, because no one gets where you are and no one gets what you’re going through, except when we do things like this and we’re all together.

“So I hope that you see that too.”