ASHLAND — Jane leaned forward as she sat in a cushioned chair in an office at Safe Haven, a domestic violence and rape crisis center in Ashland.
She showed up dressed in a flannel, dark blue jeans and black Chuck Taylor low tops with no socks.
As she spoke, she fiddled with a worry stone.
She wore a necklace that held a rose quartz, the crystal of unconditional love. Up until earlier this year, she said she reserved that love only for others, leaving none for herself — a character trait that for the last three years manifested as an addiction to methamphetamine.
Jane, in her late 40s, is recovering from drug addiction and a survivor of domestic violence. In February she started living at Safe Haven, a shelter with 16 beds and six rooms occupied by other women also living and going through programming there, designed to get them back on their feet.
Then, in October, Jane became the first person to live in what’s being called the “Bauer House” — a four-unit house that was donated to Safe Haven a few months ago.
The first-of-its kind house is a response to a need in the area for more transitional housing — that is, a living situation that serves as a sort of stepping stone from domestic violence or drug addiction to a fully-independent life.
With little-to-no emergency sheltering options in Ashland County, Rebecca Garcia, Safe Haven’s director, said the Bauer House could be a “game changer.”
“I’m housing people at Safe Haven who are ready to move on but have nowhere to go. So, as director, what do I do?” she said.
There are options through other programs, such as Ashland Church Community Emergency Shelter Services — but Garcia said ACCESS is limited in its housing options that often have waiting lists and when they do become available, have strict eligibility requirements.
“Most of our people don’t meet the qualifications,” Garcia said.
Sometimes she’s able to put women and families up in hotels or motels, but that option is less than ideal because those places are transient in nature, she said.
The Bauer House, with more lenient tenancy requirements, could serve as a piece to the housing puzzle for those recovering from drug addiction and other trauma.
‘I was lost’
Jane first tried meth under the pretense that it was cocaine.
“That’s how it started,” she said, adding her boyfriend at the time fed her the lie.
She said one try is all it took to get hooked. She said using meth — a stimulant that makes users feel extremely energized — gave her a false sense of accomplishment.
Jane said her personality is one that does not like to slow down.
“So it was amazing. That feeling of just accomplishing, but actually … now thinking back on it, you really don’t get anything done,” she said.
There were bouts where Jane didn’t sleep for five days straight. Doing routine tasks, like doing her hair, would take three hours. To her, it felt like minutes.
“It’s kind of like time is frozen,” she said of being high on the drug.
So it’s fitting that Jane’s phrase for becoming sober is “thawing out.”
Jane’s thaw began in February, but her journey wasn’t easy. Her utility bills had gone unpaid for a while. Her health diminished — at one point she said she weighed under 100 pounds. Her daughter, who has two young girls of her own, did not allow Jane to see her grandchildren, for their own protection.
“I was lost,” she said.
Finally, her daughter became worried and called Safe Haven — a shelter for adults experiencing domestic violence — to see if her mom could be removed from the abusive relationship with her boyfriend.
Garcia said Safe Haven helped Jane set up a payment plan for paying off overdue utilities and got her a spot in the shelter.
The first couple of weeks involved detoxing Jane’s body. The social workers there helped her find a job. With help, over the span of around four months, she got back on her feet. Her life’s new trajectory gave her a boost in confidence.
Unfortunately, recovery isn’t always that simple.
By July, Jane had left the shelter to go back to her boyfriend. Returning to an abusive relationship is common: Most people return to their abusers seven times before leaving for good, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Garcia agreed this is common.
“The biggest barrier to getting over an addiction to drugs is the support these people need in the process. It’s not one and done. They’re going to get sober and relapse. It takes time and support throughout the process — that you know you have people and a place to fall back on,” Garcia said.
Jane’s abuser was also her supplier, so it wasn’t long after getting back with him that she started using meth again.
“For about a month, I didn’t move. I sat on the couch, watched TV. They let me slide for a little while and then finally … (Garcia) was like, ‘No more sitting on the couch.’ But you need that nudge,” Jane said.
She made a phone call to Garcia for help and was back at Safe Haven the next day.
For the second time, Jane thawed out and became sober. This time, she said, something different happened. She had what she described as a “lightbulb moment.”
Through counseling she realized that, for years, she had poured into all her relationships to the point of leaving no love and respect for herself.
“I have worth, but I have never found my own worth,” she said, adding that part of the process was learning how to set boundaries in her relationships with others.
She also learned to recognize her boyfriend as her abuser.
“I didn’t really think of him as an abuser,” she said. “I didn’t want to use that word.”
As she recognized her own self worth, it became easier to realize her boyfriend did not have the best intentions for her. So Jane walked away — literally and figuratively.
A ‘game changer’
Jane’s journey to full recovery is still ongoing. There’s no guarantee she will recover fully from the meth addiction.
She’s fully aware of this, noting some insist as few as 2% of meth addicts recover and stay sober.
“When all is said and done, I’m going to get that 2% tattoo right here,” she said, her middle finger stabbing the air, flipping the bird to the bleak statistic.
“I am that two percent,” she declared.
The statistic is meant as a badge of courage, a symbol of perseverance for the many who do live in recovery after a form of substance-use disorder.
The National Institute of Drug Abuse states that anywhere from 40% to 60% of people with addiction will experience a relapse.
But a peer-reviewed study from 2021 showed that roughly 22.3 million Americans, or nearly 9% of adults, are currently living in recovery after some form of substance-use disorder.
Another study published in 2020 showed that 75% of people who reported ever having a substance-use problem reported being in recovery.
Garcia knows the predicament of addiction can seem like a hopeless matter. But there is hope, she said, and the Bauer House is causing her to develop more hope for Safe Haven’s clients.
Housing is a significant barrier to recovery, she said. In Jane’s case, like many in abusive relationships, her housing was linked to her abuser and drug habit. When Jane cut off that relationship, she also cut off her living situation.
Sometimes, Garcia said, people in recovery have evictions in their past, which can trigger an automatic denial from landlords who see that as a red flag in prospective new tenants.
“The pool of people willing to help them is small,” Garcia said.
Earlier this year, Garcia went on the hunt for landlords willing to lower the standard for accepting new tenants. She offered double deposit, first month’s rent and one year of case management for the client to mitigate the property owner’s risk.
Adrian Bauer of Ashland-based Bauer Realty Management came through, offering an entire house with four individual units.
Bauer declined to comment for this story, but Safe Haven called him “a man of solutions” in a press release from October.
“Bauer Realty Management has donated a four-unit house to Safe Haven for the purpose of assisting survivors transitioning from shelter to independence,” reads the press release. “He states his donation is simply his way of returning the support that has been given to him over the past 41 years, and he believes strongly in the mission of Safe Haven.
“We are humbled by Mr. Bauer’s generosity and are so grateful for this place for survivors to regain their strength and independence.”
The Bauer House is available to people who have developed a stable income, have a clear mind and are ready to move on but run into housing as a barrier. There’s nothing else like it in Ashland County — but it has been modeled elsewhere to produce promising results.
One 2010 study from the Recovery Research Institute examined the long-term outcomes for people who used outpatient treatment service with some sort of recovery residences. It found “significant improvement” after six months.
“Most of these improvements persisted at 12 and 18 months,” reads the study.
Garcia said the Bauer House allows people like Jane to build rental history, pay off outstanding bills and get started with full recovery.
“This is their win,” Garcia said of people who face housing as a barrier to recovery. “This helps them transition into the long-term. We still provide supportive services to be able to have success, just to get them started.
“This is an absolute game changer.”
In the meantime, Jane is the Bauer House’s first tenant, so it’s too soon to know of any long-term effects of the new housing — good or bad.
Garcia said the organization is still working to get other tenants to occupy the other units in the house, but is confident it will help clients like Jane — who remains sober and, as of this interview, continues to attend support group and counseling.
Will Jane fully recover?
“I don’t know,” Garcia said. “But I’m encouraged and I have hope.”
Jane’s name is fictitious, an editorial decision made to keep her identity concealed for her safety as she continues to recover from drug addiction and domestic violence.
If you or someone you know has experienced, or is currently experiencing, domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. You can also text START to 88788. Calls and texts can be anonymous.
